Reading Reflection #6

Saturday, April 20, 2019

In the remaining chapters of her book, Turkle discusses the emotional complexities involved with the relationship humans have established with the online world. The overarching theme is that as humans become more and more connected to the online world, they actually start to feel more lonely. With social media sites, chat rooms, email, instant messaging, texting, and endless platforms for digital communications, it becomes effortless to communicate with other people on a superficial level. However, we have become more timid of deeper and more personal human interaction, despite our feelings of loneliness and disconnect. Turkle spends a significant amount of time exploring this phenomenon.

She observes and interviews many teenagers and discusses their experiences with digital communications. Typically, in the teenage years it’s normal for teenagers to “disconnect” and withdraw from relationships in order to have autonomous private time for self discovery. A time which is referred to as a “moratorium.” However, in this digital age, teenagers seek the web as their online “moratorium.” They feel as if their digital world is their own private escape from the real world, their place for their autonomous self-discovery. Teens know, however, that the web is in fact anything but private. Teens spend an exuberant amount of time creating social media profiles that portray them in the perfect way. Many of the teens Turkle interviews feel extreme anxiety and pressure to uphold their digital image and constantly be connected. Instead of learning to be alone, a typical milestone of adolescence, teens are now unable to tolerate the feeling of being alone. She observes this same phenomenon in many adults as well. Humans feel anxious when they aren’t “connected.” In general, we feel lonely if we’re not connected, but our loneliness isn’t satisfied by these digital connections either.

Turkle also comments on a phenomenon that most of us have witnessed on social media. People use the web as an online dumping ground for emotions. People feel that venting to the internet is essentially an acceptable replacement for therapy. Some go so far as to post on anonymous confession sites. People feel relieved to have admitted their secrets, so they think they have addressed their problems and can move on. Turkle notes that this online confession simply diverts attention from what the person really needs. She goes on to explain that actual therapy works beyond simple confession, and seeks to help individuals see how they project their feelings onto others, and also develop new ways to approach conflicts. This is where online confession falls short of what actual therapy offers. In my experiences on social media, I find this to be a growing problem. What I often refer to as the “Dear Diary” effect of social media.

Turkle wraps up the second part of the book by discussing what she terms the “nostalgia of the young.” Teens are submersed in a digital world that they were raised in. They have never known anything outside this digital world. However, they find themselves longing for a time they never even knew. A time of letter writing and person-to-person communication. Many of the teens she interviews expressed similar feelings. Digital connections demean the authenticity of one’s true self, and one’s interpersonal connections.

In conclusion, Turkle connects the first and second parts of her book. She states “If online life is harsh and judgmental, the robot will always be on our side. The idea of a robot companion serves as both symptom and dream.” She goes on to explain that as a “symptom” it resolves our psychological problem without actually addressing ti (similarly to the Dear Diary phenomenon). As a dream, robots provide us with relationships we can control. Humans are drawn to the online world because it is a world in which we have complete control over our own image. We can create completely editable avatars and profiles. But what we lack in this world is the genuine feeling of connection with others. By believing that we could find companionship with robots, we create a completely controllable relationship. We “solve” the issue of a controllable relationship with what we believe (or choose to believe) is genuine connection with a robot. However, as Turkle discusses, “solving” an issue isn’t the same as addressing it. She points out that “technology gives us more and more of what we think we want.” But we are often left unsatisfied.

Turkle wraps up the book by providing some suggestions as to what we can do to remind ourselves that we have control over the technology, not vice versa. She reminds us that we are not at a stalemate, but at a point of inflection. We have witnessed a technology evolution and can see some of the costs. We are at a point where we can take action. She suggests we start with simple things like reclaiming good manners, talking to colleagues versus emails or texting, leaving our cell phones aside during family interactions.

I feel like I have begun to witness these small changes within our world. It seems that we may be at a turning point where we have seen our connection with technology become too connected. I think one thing we can do to actively address this is focus on things like digital citizenship training for all. Starting by incorporating it into curriculum for students and parents, and extending it into community offerings. These trainings should be required not only for educators, but for all professionals. As digital citizens, we should make an effort to create a healthy online world. We have so many resources available to us via the digital world, but it’s easy to get consumed by this enchanting technology.